The Kawaii Menace

Via a friend: Sex and Flirting in Japan. (There are no pictures, so it’s almost safe for work.)

Lost in the anime zone with John Ringo.

They’re not anime, and I recall posting them on my earlier weblogs, but they’re worth revisiting: Scientific Truth in Warning Labels, and Cognitive Hazards and other modern warning signs. (Via TexasBestGrok.)

“Definitely time to write some [Associated Press]/RIAA slashfic.” (Via René’s Apple.)

Bonus link: Gainaxing as a source of energy.

Special bonus link: The Costume Hall of Shame. (Via .clue.)

How Obama can win:

Hey, McCain has been ignoring the catgirl vote throughout the primaries, I say Obama should take advantage of this. As a matter of fact, a strong anti-tentacle monster platform would bring in both the catgirls and the Lolis. He could then show show his strength on defense by committing to a crash course of giant robot development. All he would need at that point would be a promise of combat training for all nubile young schoolgirls and he would have the entire geek vote locked up.

On a related note, here’s the most frightening title I’ve heard in a while: The Melancholy of Hillary Rodham.

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That other dealer has Geneon merchandise on sale. Haibane Renmei, Someday’s Dreamers and others are going for $5 per disc, and this time there’s no minimum order.

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Via Pixy, sophisticated technology in the service of sheer silliness:

And some Leeky Star:

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Stranger than anime: the operatic guide to dating.

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Yoshitoshi ABe will be in Minnesota in September. It’s a bit out of bicycle range for me, unfortunately.

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Update: No. No. No. No. No. No.

Who has “an almost Buddhist sense of nothingness”?

(Read on …)

When I read that BOST is offering DRM-free downloads of their shows, I figured I ought to check it out. So I registered and purchased the minimum quantity of BOST “points” (a disorienting process: the PayPal page was initially specific to Japan, but I live in Kansas, not Kansai). My first download was the iPod-ready version of the The Tower of Druaga’s initial episode. There were problems. My first attempt to download the file last night stalled at 56 megabytes. I tried again this morning and got the entire 84 megabytes in five minutes. However, the episode wouldn’t play in VLC or QuickTime; according to the former, there was a “moov box” missing from the file. Grrr. I wrote a couple of sarcastic paragraphs about BOST earlier today, but before posting them, I downloaded the PSP version to see if that would play.

I’m relieved to note that it does work in VLC. The image size is 480 by 272 pixels, not generous, but large enough so that subtitles are easily readable. Hitherto, legal downloading schemes involved DRM and were Windows-only, both deal-breakers. $2 for a freely-watchable mp4 I can live with. Now let’s hope BOST offers shows that are worth watching.

Oh, yeah, about The Tower of Druaga. The first episode is apparently a one-off spoof of RPGs. I found it rather tedious, but if you are a gamer with an encyclopedic knowledge of ’70’s and ’80’s anime, and if you find girls and tentacles an amusing combination, you might enjoy it more than I did.

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Shamus (whose Chainmail Bikini and The DM of the Rings satirize RPGs more entertainingly than Druaga #1) recently posted several classic — if that’s the word — annoying videos. Click at your own risk. Shamus did have the decency not to include badgerbadgerbadgerbadg…. Unfortunately, one of his commenters was not so considerate.

Update: Someone had to go and link to the rathergood.com kittens. At least he didn’t bring up their viking cousins. The miscreant also mentioned this old favorite that I hadn’t seen in years, so I might forgive him.

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If The Kawaii Menace were the name of a book, it would have a 69.0% chance of being a bestselling title, according to the the Lulu Titlescorer. I tested a few other names:

Wonderduck’s Pond — 76.9%
The Ego’s Nest — 69.0%
Mahou Meido Meganekko — 26.3%
Haibane Renmei — 35.9%
Martian Successor Nadesico — 10.2%, 26.3% or 41.4%, depending on how you describe the title
Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World — 26.3%
Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World, in Four Parts. By Lemuel Gulliver, First a Surgeon, and then a Captain of several Ships — 8.6%

(Via Frëd.)

So now there are Anime Blog Awards. Too bad I can’t participate. According to the rules, “… you are required to fill in at least 9 nominations in 9 different categories in order for your nomination to be accepted.” Unfortunately, there aren’t nine categories of anime weblogs with which I am familiar enough to make nominations. Thanks a lot, guys. I notice also that there is no category that applies to The Kawaii Menace, no “most eccentric,” “most frivolous” or “most desultory.”

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One more peculiar search term: “maoist anime.” I can’t think of any series offhand that reflects that point of view, and I’m not particularly interested in finding one. However, if you’d like a maoist interpretation of an anime, here’s a review of Serial Experiments Lain:

A further serious flaw in “Lain:” it makes no references to reality outside of imperialist-countries. The decadence of imperialist society is not just a matter of internal ennui, violence, and f******-up gender relations: it’s also predicated on the imperialists’ oppression and exploitation of the colonies and neo-colonies. “Lain” assumes all of humynity can connect to “the wired.” In our world, less than 10% of the world’s population has internet access (619 million of 6.23 billion).(1) For that matter, countries like Afghanistan, Burma, and Liberia have less than one telephone line per 100 population, and only 28% of India’s population has access to improved sanitary facilities.(2)

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Garfield minus Garfield. (Via Eve Tushnet.)

Paya-tan

It’s time for a fresh poll. Which creature¹ from recent anime would you most like to see as a plushie? Some of the candidates might be unfamiliar to some visitors here. Paya-tan/Dark Paya (two phases of the same character) is the “crazy and cute” mascot from Dai Mahou Touge, an underappreciated series recommended to those who like their humor black. The mojos are Isako’s helpers in Denno Coil.

As far as I know, none in the poll are yet available in soft and fuzzy form, though there is a President Aria “money box.”

Dark Paya

Mojos

Beelzenef

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I lost interest in the anime Spice and Wolf, but I do like the neo-Renaissance soundtrack. Here’s “Mada Minu Machi he.”

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The most impressive magical gift of the sailor senshi is their ability to sprint while wearing high heels. It turns out that some ordinary humans also run in stiletto heels. Why, I don’t know. See also the Ukrainian army.

1. Beelzenef, strictly speaking, isn’t a creature but a hand puppet, but it has more presence than Nekozawa does. [↩]

Spice and Wolf in a nutshell.

Mickey Mouse attacks.

Douglas MacArthur as you’ve never seen him before.

Girls with guns, and tanks, and swords ….

Here’s a headline I spotted in today’s paper:

I was disappointed to find that the story was not about nekomimi, but people who have pet cats.

I wonder what the effects of having a pet catgirl would be….

It has nothing to do with anime or Japan, but it’s such a heart-warming image I couldn’t resist posting it.

(From here, via Lynn.)

Pythagoras Switch is a Japanese science show for small children. It’s very elementary and most of it is of little interest, but there are a couple of redeeming features. One is the “algorithm march,” a sequence of simple movements performed in canon, popular with inmates in the Philippines. The other are the many “Pythagoras Switches” that give the show its name. These are Rube Goldberg contraptions, designed to display the show’s logo in complicated ways. Some are fantastically elaborate; others are elegantly simple. All are imaginative constructions made with everyday objects: marbles, paper cups, books, clothes pins, tape measures, springs, scraps of wood, etc. I posted a brief excerpt featuring two of the devices on my video weblog. You can find more on YouTube.

There are a couple of “DVD books” out for region 2 that feature nothing but these devices. I’d be interested to see translations of the books, should they ever be made (not likely). The contents of the DVDs, however, don’t need translation, and the torrents are out there if you know where to look.

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Now for something completely different: Sally Cruikshank’s “Face Like a Frog.”

(Via AniPages Daily.)

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The swelling in my leg is diminishing, finally, and the nerves and muscles are waking up. The immediate consequence is that I get cramps in both legs now. It’s going to be a long ten weeks until I get rid of the splint. Bleah.

I’m not in the mood for deep thought and critical analysis, so here are the annual Kawaii Menace Anime Awards.

Best idiot, male: Isaac Dian, Baccano!
Best idiot, female: Miria Harvent, Baccano!
Least enviable magical (or quasi-magical) ability: Sawaki’s in Moyashimon
Most noble dog: Densuke, Denno Coil

Best spacesuits: Rocket Girls
Best resident deus ex machina: Oh! Edo Rocket
Most accurate botany: Mokke
Worst animated vehicle: Rocket Girls

Best battle: episode four, Denno Coil (Runner-up: episode three, Seirei no Moribito)
Most shameless almost-but-not-quite plagiarism: Oh! Edo Rocket OST
Best opening song: Mayumi Kojima, “Poltergeist,” Ghost Hound
Best ending song: Polysics, “Rocket,” Moyashimon
Best completely extraneous musical number: episode ten, Oh! Edo Rocket
Ugliest musician: episode four, Mononoke
Most popular current series I haven’t the slightest interest in: Clannad
Best fusion of kawaii and kowai: Guchuko, Potemayo
Worst behavior from good kids: Manabi Straight opening

… and others as I think of them. Later. Right now I’m heading back to bed.

Addendum:
“Kids Say the Darndest Things” award: Czeslaw’s request of Ladd, Baccano!
Best show for children and adults: Mokke
Best choreography: Lucky Star opening

Some good news for Steven: it looks like there are plans for a Strike Witches TV series. I’m ambivalent, myself. The eight-minute OVA was perfect in its way (and perfectly absurd); a regular series, even if done well, is going to seem diffuse in comparison.

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I’ve got the week off. I’ve been reading Diana Wynne Jones rather than than watching anime, though, so I don’t have much to report. I have noticed that many recent visitors find this weblog through searches involving the terms “gothic,” “lolita,”, “Kei” and “Moyashimon,” which makes me apprehensive about the second half of the series. I suppose Kei does look a bit girlish, but I doubt that he’ll be as charming as Aspergillus. (If I were to tell a young woman that she’s as cute as a fungus, would she understand that I mean it as a compliment? Probably not.)

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We have an uncommon event here in Wichita: a white Christmas. That happens maybe once in ten years.

I considered posting a tune from the Sailor Moon Christmas albums today, but I’m not sure that punishing your readership is a good idea. If you would like to hear some less-familiar Christmas carols, there are some MIDIs on my other weblog.

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Not anime, but geeky: mathematical needlework; crocheting a Sierpinski triangle; a how-to book, with projects and papers. (The first link may be slow to load.)

Who knows when Hatsune Miku will be ported to the Mac? Until then, there’s the Delay Lama:

(Via Fellini 8.5)

If that’s too passé for your taste, you can listen to music made with Nintendo Gameboy chips at the Blip Festival. Want to make your own bleeps and bloops, but you don’t have any old video games on hand to take apart? Try quadraSID.

If tht’s too old-school for you, consider Reactable. (Via Fred.)

Update: Accordion Hero? Sure, why not?

Here’s another picture from the same event, this time a J-rock cosplayer.
(Read on …)

I found a site that makes Flash jigsaw puzzles from your pictures. Here’s a Suingintou from the Wichita anime festival last August.
(Read on …)

I’ve spent my recent lunch hours investigating Second Life. This virtual world may have a lot of potential, but I find it disappointing. It’s fun to learn to fly and customize your avatar, but once you’re past the orientations and in Second Life proper, it turns out that there’s nobody there.¹ There’s plenty to look at — elaborate buildings and landscapes, stores full of clothes, hair, skins, eyes, wings, animations, etc. — but wherever I go, I’m almost always quite alone. When I do encounter someone else, he is generally as disinclined to begin a conversation as I am. There are some busy sites with lots of visitors, but I dislike virtual crowds as much as real ones. I have yet to find a congenial spot.

It hasn’t been a complete waste of time. Some real-life musicians stream live performances while their avatars stand on virtual stages, and the music is occasionally quite good and offbeat. When’s the last time you heard virtuoso musical saw? Supposedly some well-known musicians like Suzanne Vega occasionally give virtual concerts, but I have yet to recognize any of the performers listed on the schedules. There have also been some discussions announced that look interesting, but never at times I can attend.

So, is there anime in Second Life? Well, there are Naruto fans, as demonstrated above. Quite a few shops feature clothing, hair, shapes and skins inspired by anime and gothic lolita styles, and there is quite a bit more that’s Japanese. I found one virtual shop devoted entirely to general anime cosplay and another exclusively to Sailor Moon.

(Notice how much of the snapshot above is blurry. It takes a long time to render all the fine detail, and if your computer, video card and connection are not the absolute fastest available, expect to spend a lot of time waiting for your system to catch up with SL.)

So there are anime fans in Second Life — somebody had to make the wares and rent or buy the virtual space for the stores — but finding them is not easy. There are over a hundred anime groups listed, a few with hundreds of members, but they don’t actually do anything. There are no meetings, discussions or events in any that I’ve looked at, and no newsletters. The only anime-related communications I’ve received were announcements of new costumes. In contrast, I receive regular updates from various SL musical and dance organizations.

There are a few haibane around:

If I do continue to visit Second Life, it will be for the music, not anime.

One unexpected pleasure: shopping for clothes. In real life, it’s a pain; the styles don’t appeal and the sizes are never quite right. Clothing your avatar, however, is fun. Penneys might not have much in the way of kimonos, but in the virtual world they’re easy to find. I haven’t yet seen any Abh uniforms, but I did find some other outfits of note. Snapshots below the fold.

(Read on …)

1. There are supposedly 40,000 to 50,000 residents logged in when I visit, but they all must be playing hide and seek. [↩]

Some odds and ends while I download Moyashimon:

Does anyone make shows about folks who can focus on saving humanity, or are we doomed to a diet of crappy sci-fi soap operas? If WWII had been like this, Roosevelt would have looked like Professor X and have been crippled years ago by his quasi-enemy, Super Seiyjin Stalin; Hitler would have been the lunatic madman out to conquer/end/dominate/destroy the world, Mussolini would have been the jilted bishie lover of both Roosevelt and Stalin, Churchill would have been an angsty teenager, and Hirohito would have been a cute female high-schooler in a sailor outfit trying to end world militarism in time for this semester’s finals.

“Isn’t chocolate pudding… bad … for the violins?”

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I’m not a fan of Star Wars, but this was uncalled for. (Caution: causes severe ear pain. Blame the LLamas for this one.)

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Here’s an alternate history story: if MGM had said “yes” to Bob Clampett in 1936, would the Japanese now be fansubbing American animation? (Via Aliens in This World.)

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I may be wrong, but as I understand it, the “sei” in “seifuku” is short for “sailor.” I.e., its distinguishing characteristic is the sailor collar. Consequently, I think only one of the outfits in this poll qualifies as a proper seifuku. (Update: I was wrong — see Andrew F.’s comment. Never mind.)

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I’ve added Yumedamaya Kidan to my to-investigate list.

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The next self-help bestseller: Aerophobics: The Easy Six* Step program to end your exercise addiction. It could be helpful in maintaing a proper otaku lifestyle.

*”’cause let’s face it, twelve steps is WAAAAAAY too many.” —SR

While going through this month’s search terms, I noticed a theme:

kawaii watches
criticisms of kawaii culture
kawaii car stuff
kawaii room maker
couple kawaii hat
how to be kawaii
kawaii oak panio
teenage kawaii
kawaii camera
kawaii sequencer
kawaii computer
kawaii software
english clothes kawaii
chicago kawaii
kawaii multiply theme
kawaii comments
kawaii culture

Also:
japan fake reality cute
silly japanese cute words

Some kowai searches:
jewish anime
why is jackson pollock named jack the ripper
hello kitty boots without socks
dokuro chan costume prop — Don’t. Just don’t.
when did solomon become a satanist
horribly good saki
asian bluegrass metal — Something like God of Shamisen?
miss mune mune costumes — You probably shouldn’t, even if (particularly if) you have the figure.
paprika ubik — There’s a term paper here.
bartok lambda calculus music
rock critics are idiots — Obviously.
chicken dance accordion — Be careful what you search for. You might find it.